Why Superman Needs Clark Kent

When I was young and naive, I used to read Superman comic books. Now I mostly go for the exotic and erotic stuff, but Superman was a good appetizer. I mean, a guy who wears tights, has a dope crib and two girlfriends to enjoy it with.... come on! Tell me that's not a lead-in to the freaky stuff!

Anyway, it used to perplex me why Superman needed to front as Clark Kent. You've got this alien with superpowers, and he has to act like this bumbling nerd? That makes no sense at all. Why can't he just be what he really is, i.e., Superman?

Now I think I understand. Superman needs Clark Kent because the Fortress of Solitude gets mighty boring, even when you're constantly entertaining smokin' hotties like Lana and Lois. And make no mistake: When you've got enemies like Brainiac and Lex Luthor you can't live responsibly in Metropolis. The only co-op board that will so much as answer your calls is the one at the Fortress of Solitude.

Still, who cares? The Fortress of Solitude is a dope crib if ever there was one! You've got this incredible collection of crystals that play HD 3-D holograms, tons of space, natural light out the wazoo. an on-premises alien zoo, and a friggin' mirage ray that keeps prying eyes off you so you can get horny with your shorties all day long. Why would you trade all that for a 9-to-5 and a crappy little apartment in the city?

Why invent Clark Kent?

Because if you're Superman you need to live in this world. You need friends. If you're gonna fight the evil in the world, you have to be able to get down in the trenches and see it. Even when you're Superman, you can't see everything so you become a journalist with access to all the latest news off the wires. You make friends like Lana and Lois and Jimmy. You have a life. People like you for you, not just because you're Superman and have this incredible mojo and all these toys.

Besides, nobody can really be a hero if they take themselves too seriously and lose their humility.

That Superman was one smart cookie.

The real question is, "Why did Clark Kent need Superman?"