Top Ten Rock Bands of All Time

It has taken weeks to get this post together. It started off like so many others -- disjointed scrawling and doodling in a notebook like some weird extraterrestrial glyph shopping list, seemingly disparate elements being linked together with circles arrows, and comments whose lettering grows smaller to keep them within page margins and other space constraints.

Sex Pistols -- not prolific enough? Sid junkie. dead. dumbass. Music amazing -- raw, base, primal. ------------------> Nirvana,

That goes on for about four pages with lots of doodles. As I tried to compile it, crossing bands off for various reasons, the scale of the task before me -- picking my favorite ten bands of all time -- terrified me. The fact is, it depends on my mood that day. There are a few hundred bands that I would place on an equal level of greatness, ceteris paribus. Ceteris is never paribus, though.

So I whittled and whittled and eventually came up with a list of, in my humble opinion, the ten greatest bands in history. These are in no particular order -- they are all equally great for different reasons.

Without further ado, here are my

Ten favorite rock bands of all time

• Buddy Holly and the Crickets -- We're talking about rock, here. It was compulsory to choose at least one of the granddaddies of the genre. The dawn of rock 'n' roll changed history even more profoundly than did the Beatles. It injected a raw, sexual, bad-boy energy into the culture that persists to this day. Of all the great artists of that time, only one band really stands out for me -- Buddy Holly and the Crickets. (The Beatles paid homage to them in naming themselves, or so the story goes.) They had so many great songs in such a short time -- "Peggy Sue," "Shake, Rattle and Roll," "Rip it Up," and a long list of others. They frickin' helped invent the sound, man, and they rocked out hard.
• The Grateful Dead -- The Acid Test band -- they invented psychedelic music before the Beatles ever thought about Lucy in the Sky. They blew many millions of minds over a 30-year span and, I happen to believe, profoundly impacted human consciousness, maybe helping to evolve us. They were certainly the greatest live band ever, jamming with everybody from the Neville Brothers to Bob Dylan to Branford Marsalis and a whole big long list of others. If you never saw them live, you don't know WTF you're talking about when you say, "I hate the Dead." Under the right "psychic conditions," I guarantee that their live recordings will take you places no other band could,
• The Beatles -- Not only were they musical and lyrical geniuses, but they had enough charisma to literally change the world. The whole hippy thing might never have happened without them, and that was a transformative moment in Western culture. All great bands boil down to two dudes -- one with superhuman mojo and one with superhuman talent, usually, like Mick and Keith of the Rolling Stones (Mick being the one with the mojo, not that he lacked talent). With the Beatles, you had two dudes who had both superhuman mojo and superhuman talent. That's why they blew apart -- too much magic, too much energy. But, wow, did they produce a huge catalog of incredible work in a short period of time!
• The Rolling Stones -- Jagger, Richards -- 'nuff said right there, really. Forget the 20 years of amazing music, the incredibly solid front-to-back albums, the intense live shows and the ultimate sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll lifestyle. All you need to know about these guys is Jagger and Richards.
• Black Sabbath (with Ozzy) -- Sabbath took everything that came before them and turned it up, made it badder-ass, made it scarier and invented heavy metal. They cranked out a lot of timeless songs, too, like "Iron Man," which if it were released today would be a hit.
• The Velvet Underground -- As far as I'm concerned, they invented punk rock and made everything that came after them possible. I know, I know -- there were a lot of bands around at the time doing similar things, but the Velvet Underground produced two of the best albums in any genre ever. I'm talking, of course, about White Light/White Heat and The Velvet Underground. Additionally, Lou Reed kicks serious ass to this very day.
• Led Zeppelin -- Not before or since has any band marshalled such an incredible arsenal of kickass. Speaking purely from a musical perspective, Zeppelin was unbeatable. They were BRO (Basic Rock Outfit) on steroids with every rockin' piece in perfect place. A lot of bands have great songs. A lot of bands have great guitarists. A lot of bands have great bassists, vocalists, or drummers. Very few combine all of the above, each element at a level of awesomeness that cannot be surpassed. Zeppelin did this, somehow.
• U-2 -- I am surprised myself that I have to include U-2 among the exalted members of this list, but I do. They've been incredibly prolific and continue to crank out rockin', original stuff. Unlike almost any band these days, their reach is truly global, which is refreshing. It's so funny that nobody outside of North America has ever heard of most of the big "stars" in the American music scene today. U-2 plays for the world. They created a distinct, energetic sound. I also appreciate the fact that they have tried to use their fame to make the world a better place throughout their career. The world needs more of that and less Disneyfied, over-marketed crap.
• Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band -- This is the only member of the list (with the possible exception of the Stones) that didn't really do anything to revolutionize music or create a new sound that had never come before them and that was oft-imitated. That's what I like about them. They're a working man's band. They've done it all through great songs, great showmanship, and hard work. They're a bunch of guys from the neighborhood in Jersey, an American thing, really, almost in spite of a few global hits. The Boss seems like a cool guy, too.
• The Talking Heads -- so many bands just fall off and become pathetic caricatures of themselves over the years (not naming names -- sorry). The Talking Heads took it as far as it could go, had a pleasant denouement, and exited the scene gracefully. Besides that, they rocked. You can't listen to their music without being transported back in time to the grimy late-'70s CBGBs scene where they began or the amped-up '80s club scene where they hit their popular peak. This is one of those bands who were so influential and so brilliant, that you hardly even notice their influence or brilliance until you take a closer look at it.

As I said at the beginning of this thing, there are hundreds of bands that I love, many of whom I wish could have made the cut. Some were just a little too obscure (The Replacements, The New York Dolls, The Butthole Surfers), some fell off too early (Nirvana), some just lacked a certain something (The Dave Matthews Band -- sorry guys, you're great musicians, and I like your songs, but you're not earth shakers). Hundreds of bands I love just don't belong in the top ten of all time (Neil Young and Crazy Horse -- you guys are, like, spot 11, Oasis [yeah, I like them], Muse, Van Halen [with David Lee Roth, otherwise they sucked], The Clash, The Ramones, Radiohead... I could go on and on).

Hey hey, my my, rock and roll can never die! (I feel so guilty for not finding a spot for old Neil.)

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