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Swine Flu Hysteria - Nobody in Queens Gives a Crap

Submitted by charliehiphop on Thu, 2009-04-30 11:56

If pig flu hasn't wiped out Flushing by now, I'm not gonna worry about it.

Flushing Main Street

All week long I've been a little nervous about the swine flu since its ground zero is so close to my house. All I can say is, "What a bunch of baloney!" If this thing were as virulent as the teevee folk have made it sound, it would have killed half my neighborhood by now or at least a few people. Jiminy Crickets, I would have thought somebody would have at least gotten sick by now. The virus landed here a week ago. Where's the destruction?

This is New York City, for godsakes. We live in apartment buildings. We take public transportation. We jockey for position at the pizza counter and the kebab cart. We're on islands, fercripesake. If this disease is going to spread like wildfire anywhere, it's going to be here. But it has not. Therefore, I must conclude that this so-called "pandemic" is BS.

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that it is not a big deal.

The way the media hypes things like this up ticks me off. Why do they try so hard to scare us? If I were some kind of conspiracy theorist, I would say it's because people who are afraid are easier to control and would tend to buy more things to assuage their fear. In other words, fear is good for business.

Of course, I'm not a conspiracy theorist. The teevee folk probably just think that being hysterical draws more viewers. Fine, whip up hysteria if it's good for the bottom line, but give us something to gnaw on, something that will hang over our heads for years.. The Taliban are darn close to controlling Pakistan and its nukes; nuclear weapons in the hands of people who hate us and who are demonstrably crazy represent a slightly bigger concern than some over-hyped cold ever could.

I mean, sheesh. I'm gonna go ride the 7 train, and I'm not bringing any hand sanitizer! Then, hand still grimy from the strap, I'm gonna grab a slice. The only flu that matters in Queens is the F-L-U in Flushing. Holla!

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Now that I've said all this...

Submitted by charliehiphop on Thu, 2009-04-30 13:48.

... I've probably cursed myself into getting it.


Submitted by charliehiphop on Thu, 2009-04-30 13:54.

All of a sudden I feel sick. I've got to stop doing this to myself. LOL

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