Can't quit smoking but can limit damage...

Nicotine addiction can literally bring a grown man to tears

Here is what I wrote earlier, before caving under the intense suffering of nicotine withdrawal:

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Pins and needles all over my body. Ears ringing. Lungs and throat burning. Debilitating pain in neck and shoulders. Pounding headache. Mind running a thousand races, all in different directions.

People say, "You can do it!" all well intentioned and shiny, but they don't know this. They

do

not

know

THIS!!!!!!!!!

I keep telling myself that 3-5 days of withdrawal beats months of a slow, premature death from cancer. Thing is, cancer's not a sure thing. People who don't smoke get cancer all the time. Smokers live to ripe old ages all the time. This excruciating withdrawal is absolutely guaranteed, though. Then I'll feel mentally sluggish (dumb) for a few months, until that dumb feeling is just normal and I'm a normal, dull non-smoker, albeit one who loves the smell of tobacco smoke. Is that really what I want? Is that how I want to spend my life?

Being normal. Following the crowd. Denying myself this medicine that I so obviously need. Does that make any sense?
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Addiction is so weird. I rationalized myself into making a completely irrational decision. Of course, I do feel much better now, but every junkie feels better when they're on their junk.