Damn you, Google!
Why do you make me love you!
Every time you throw me in the doghouse, it hurts. I mean, it really, really hurts... like hell. OK, OK, so I might well be the biggest idiot in the entire blogosphere, but is that really so bad? I don't do nobody no harm.
So why do you do this to me? Why do you flick me in the trash like a used condom, making it so that nobody finds my sites? Have I ever spoken ill of you to anyone? Have I ever mistreated you? Dear God, why don't you love me anymore? What have I done to incur your cruel wrath?
You, Google, are my everything, my raison d'être (I had to Google that for spelling -- not really, I had it spelled correctly, but I did have to look up the special character for the "e" with the little pointy thing on top), my muse, and quite possibly my Life's One True Love.
When you spurn me, it hurts like nothing else ever could. How can I get back in your good graces? Please give me a sign. Until then, I remain
Your faithful servant,