Merrill Lynch Asshole Makes $25 Million in Three Months
buys $37 million apartment on Park Ave. with YOUR money!
OK, OK, so it isn't really capitalism in the sense of somebody earning money through good old fashioned business acumen and hard work. It would more properly be termed fraud -- bare-naked, unadulterated, porcine graft on an enormous scale. It's the financial equivalent of one of those animal factories leaching great toxic lakes of crap into the water we drink. (Ha, and meat eaters have the gall to give me a hard time for smoking! Ignorami... at least I'm aware of the danger of what I'm doing, and the damage I'm doing is primarily to myself.)
But I digress... back to this con artist at Merril Lynch. This guy Peter Kraus worked a grand total of three months at Merrill, took his massive $25 million bonus (which we can only assume came out of the $10 billion or so in taxpayer money Merrill Lynch received in the TARP since Merrill lost $11 billion in 2008.) and bought his wife a new Park Avenue apartment. Technically, she bought it, but it doesn't really matter.
The point, comrades, is that this arrogant pig stole your money. If you're worried about losing your job, if you're pissed at seeing your retirement funds evaporate, if you are on the verge of becoming homeless -- hell, even if you are sitting relatively pretty -- remember this: These Wall Street crooks stole your (and your grandchildren's) money. They conned us out of our hard-earned dollars by screaming doomsday if we didn't fork over $700 billion forthwith.
And now they're spending it. How's that for economic stimulus? I'm sure landlords all up and down Park Avenue are sleeping much easier.
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Comments
#1 I want to get back to the meat factory metaphor
Above, in the teaser, I stated, "It's the financial equivalent of one of those animal factories leaching (whatever) into our water."
Actually, it really is the same damn thing without all the blood and guts and the oceans of consolidated excrement not doing its job in nature. Mass meat (and mass agriculture in general) is totally exploitive. It exploits the animals, the cowboys (typically paid a pittance), the slaughterhouse workers, the guy who delivers the meat, the poor soul who stocks it, and -- ultimately -- the consumer. Everyone in that chain is having something stolen from them.
The animals are losing a halfway decent life, confined as they to small pens, fed the cheapest crap they can get instead of what they're supposed to be eating, pumped full of chemicals to make them bigger... and finally they are led to a terrifying mass death.
The workers along the way who tend to and stock the meat are each being paid as little as they can be paid, and the surplus value of their labor is sucked up by the parasitic fat cats of big agribiz, who could not competently perform a single task anywhere in the chain.
The only difference is that instead of producing meat (albeit of the lowest, most filthy quality), the Wall Street people pull vast amounts of money out of ridiculous ponzi schemes resting on a foundation of hard-working people's retirement money.
The funny thing is, these people have more to lose than anybody and will lose more than anybody in the dangerous social environment they're creating. Do they not realize that America is the nation of 500 million guns? Hey, rich dudes, you'd better make things right for every single one of the millions of veterans you trained or you're totally f**ed. That's not a threat. It's a sober assessment of the facts on the ground.
Stay tuned for Part III of my economic recovery plan, guaranteed to become a timeless classic to be studied for centuries to come.