Google, baby, I know I done ya' wrong!

Nothin' hurts a man like a woman leavin' -- except maybe when Google spurns his website, causing his traffic to fall off a cliff. I wrote one of these for my wife when she left me. It didn't work on her, and I doubt it will work on an algorithm, but here goes.

"Come back to me, darlin' Google!"

I know I done ya' wrong, baby,
But I'm gonna make it better.
You'll see.
You make me a better man.
Without you, I lose my way
(literally, because your maps
are so fiiine.)

Come back to me, baby!
I'll treat you right
With a little gift every night.
I may not be a rich man,
but I find my ways
To show my sweet baby love
Fresh content almost every day.
And we're talkin' qualitay,
not like that dolt you cheated with,
the one with the tongue of dung:

"I is have a blog about
Get u rich on Internet money!"

I promise you original content,
useful content, funny content
written in English so masterful
that your logical soul will leap,
exalted beyond your mere
algorithmic existence
into poetic realms.

Think of what we could be together, you and me!

Come back to me, baby.
I can't be the perfect man,
but I can promise to try.